MOVIE MAKING

I never heard why it was called Peas and Carrots. i only know that she rechristened it 'Pause and Carrots' becasue most of the time she was being directed to pause! The director was not amused though she though it funny! She got a Calvin and Hobbes annual for her efforts and lolled around enjoying it!

July 7th 2004
Yes …No…Yes….But….
I don’t know why I’m so confused in life….I don’t know if my last decision is right. I don’t know what is right.
I’ve once again decided to act in that movie. I don’t know if I told you, but the day before yesterday I dropped out because Navika had to. I believe they’ve now found someone else for her role but no one else for mine. The lead actor called in the morning and told me that if he was the problem I needn’t worry. Why would he be the problem? I have nothing against him. It’s my other friend who doesn’t get along with him.
That day I lied to them so I could drop out and said Appa Amma wouldn’t allow me and the worst par was they actually sympathised. I dunno. I said I convinced Appa and Amma and they said OK.

July 14th 2004
Gosh! The movie is so goddam irritating. The script is totally pathetic. There are so many parts that can be torn to bits. I have no clue why they are wasting all this money. Honestly! Beats me…

July 16th 2010
Feels like ages since I last wrote here though it’s barely two days. Sometimes I don’t get the time even if I’m dying to write and sometimes even if I have all the time I have nothing to write.
Guess what I’ve been doing this movie for the pas few days. I mean I’ve been acting in it. It’s an obnoxiously stupid and irritating script and it beats me how I actually accepted. What a dumb thing to feel pity and do things. Ridiculous.
When I first read the scrip I was nearly certain that here was no way I was going to do it.
And then I thought. If I do it what am I going to get and what am I going to lose? Well may be I’ll learn how movies are made and what goes into it and I’d probably miss a few classes at worst.
You must bear in mind that at that moment I was getting really fed up of the stuff on TV and didn’t find a gripping book. Anyways I thought, why not? So I accepted.
Of course it’s not all that bad. Sometimes it is even fun. But boy, it is that direction that is killing. It all remains to me a great wonder…the more think about human nature the more stupid it seems. They are all very polite to me...but the politeness itself is killing. Who cares anyway?

July 17th 2004
The movie’s over at long last. Thank God. It wasn’t finished properly and the dubbing is still to be done but it is over all the same. Yeah! Its over. it’s over…
After it was done we had some ice cream and I came back home.

Meeting Supraneeti has helped me realize a lot about myself and brought into view the many things I’ve got to change about myself. Firstly I should behave better with more politeness and ‘decorum and polish’.
Also I should become more self reliant and less dependant ton others for myself image. It’s like when people praise me I feel ever so good and when they don’t I feel ever so low. When they call me cute or laugh at me or admire something I say or do I couldn’t be happier. But otherwise I’m quite glum. But being happy with myself, being independent of others is FAR from my attitude. How can a person so dependent on attention ever be happy on her own? How can I ever be a recluse?