13 December 2004
Meeting my Image
I met Hasitha (Shanthi Ma’am’s niece-my look alike) AT LAST today. Boy was it funny…we just kept looking at each other and laughing. She’s like a year older than me. She seemed really nice…unlike me; she seems well adjusted, friendly and naturally social-far more extrovert than me. She said the next time she came over she would bring a camera and we should have a snap together. Shanthi ma’am seemed really tired and I felt in the way. How thoughtless I am and how inconsiderate and uncaring I must seem! Forgot to wish Agasthi and Amarti best of luck, forgot to wish her a happy journey, good night, NOTHING. Just ya ,ya and bye, abruptly. Poor Hassi! Imagine how it must’ve felt being compared to some one like me. All I did was show off about me! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT. How unlike me! But that’s what I did.
25th November 2004
I re-read Muriel Spark’s ‘P….. Street’. I’ve forgotten the full form. And then a part of Mary Stewart’s ‘Gabriel Hounds’. They are both beautiful especially Muriel Spark’s. One because it has such an unusual stories of a woman her life and her death, about the individual, and relationships and human beings and stuff. It’s an AMAZING story beautifully written, but it leaves me feeling depressed. Both these stories relate to my evergreen problem in their own weird ways and somehow the feeling of uselessness eats me even though I did quite well in today’s exam and even wrote an extra answer- all in less than an hour.
But then it comes back to me that I couldn’t help Ambedkar and Kruthika do as well. I spent the whole day yesterday trying to teach them but I seriously don’t know if it was of any use. I guess its ok. I just hope they both scrape through. One of them knew much more to start with and learnt too and hopefully will do much better than that. The other was stuck with ‘regular and irregular’ verbs and wouldn’t let the stuff sink in. Maybe I could have done better. I think I tried my best. I couldn’t have helped in the exam hall ‘cause ma’am was very vigilant!
With this I’m through with the 2004 diary.
I intend to take a break for a few weeks … want to work at getting her project report publishable.
In the meanwhile if any of you want to add to the blog please feel free
Thanks for your sustained interest