25th February 2004 continued
More on Xpressions
I had thought id stop on that note but going by the responses I’m adding the rest of the story. I’m sure some of you would remember the jokes and the events or chaos over the prizes….
We joked around some more and each one had to go away for something or other. I took a friend to Pick and Move (restaurant) and it was 5 pm when I realised about the slow biking race. Masood was there and he was livid. I apologised as hell and went. He came second last in his race. I couldn’t drive without putting my leg down so I lost pretty soon. Anyway he left after some time.
We were hanging around in the basket ball court when someone called us to help in packing the prizes. I even got to choose what I wanted. Meanwhile I was able to get thru to Appa. Told him I’d be late and all. The fashion parade was to start at 7 p.m. The prize distribution started only at 8.30. There was tremendous confusion. Jagdish called me to help others give out the prizes. Navika was announcing. I fell off the stage once by mistake when I was giving the chief guest the prize. Anyways we took back the prizes and things.
Just saw the solos in the fashion show. Had to go off with Navika to search for Jagdish, who had the prizes, because there was this boy from another college who really wanted it. Anyway Shaista, who had the prizes and refused to give it. I don’t yet have my prizes. Hopefully I’ll get them tomorrow. Came home around 10, ate and slept.
(And there is the word ‘Appa’ written and then scratched out. I’m sure her father must have lectured her a bit on the lateness of the return. :))
23/24th /25th February 2004?
Living in the Moment
(This entry is so profound I can’t believe it was written out just like that! Yet it is smack in the middle of her other entries on 25th about Xpressions and the handwriting is clear, steady and more careful than the reporting on the college fest...)
Every moment in one’s life is a moment by itself. A condition totally new-unprecedented and irrepeatable. While we may try to relive many a moment, we can only achieve similarity and not sameness. There are certain ‘big’ moments –say exams as ‘events’ or certain pieces of work-which may involve months of planning anticipation and anxiety. But eh ultimate ‘big’ moment –one’s actions at that moment happen (italics hers) then-maybe due to the anticipation planning and anxiety, maybe despite it.Whatever the reason the thing happens at the instant (italics hers).
Then there are those things one thinks of after it is complete. They may be memories- pleasant, unpleasant. We may be proud of some moments and ashamed of them. But whatever time we spend in thinking about it is futile because I suppose what is done is done.
However, at the same time, each action leads to consequences. What we do at one moment may change people’s lives for centuries to come or just your life as long as you live. But whatever it is every action matters. However once you’ve messed up an action there’s is no point losing your mind over it. It’s best to make the best of ones resources. I guess I’ve realised that what all those people said when they said “Don’t think of the past and future. Just think of the present” -they were right. That way if you are totally into each moment of your life and try your best at each instant you won’t have to worry or grumble or anything. If you do something don’t think about it too much. Later you’ll try to judge it and see if its constitutionally right or wrong and stat regretting it –maybe because everything has both right and wrong. I hope and I pray that I have the strength to put these penses (French=thoughts) into practice.