20th August 2004
(Written fully in French)
There are so many ideas, so many hypotheses, so many theories and one needs time, space, energy and patience to reflect on. But unfortunately for me I don’t have the time when I have the patience or the desire and when I have both I do not have the space. It is a pity, truly. Every day there are some things that I have to do immediately. There are all these deadlines too. There are those passing things that have to be done within time limits. Then there are those other things which don’t have these pressing deadlines which as important if not more so. One has to always prioritise and take these decisions!
I would also like to discuss another issue. How to accept compliments! I do not know how to do this. When some one gives me a compliment I do not know how to react. Often I think they are mocking or teasing me and are not serious. Then I don’t accept these compliments well-not at all. This is really regrettable because my reactions are really silly. But above all I have to study now! Alors!
21st August 2004
Gosh! I’m kind of sick of French. I don’t plan to join the next level, 400, if I pass and that’s a big if by itself. Maybe I should just give up, but I want to pass and then leave, so it would be a positive end. Hope that happens!
I won’t be joining what ever happens so maybe I shouldn’t even care. But it’s only 2-3 days and giving up now would be ridiculously typical of me. Bye.
27th August 2004
Guess what? I won the first prize for that poster making competition at Alliance Francaise and I got the course fee for the next level free! Cool! But just when I was having this dilemma of whether to join level 400 or not! Good! It helps me decide. The best part was when the Directeur went on about how it was surrealistic and made it sound symbolic as hell. Too good!
29th August 2004
Post Poster Prize
It’s strange how the way one thinks and feels about a certain thing changes so much with time. Great things in retrospect seem like petty achievements. I dunno –it’s just weird. Actually a part of me still feels real great about being called surrealist and stuff. But this afternoon I realised how it is such a petty thing.
I have earned a level of French free. I want to see my poster on the notice board. This is much an honour as Akku telling me I am creative.